Maggie Andrews

I have been taking pictures of myself since I was 8 years old. It has always helped me to express the ways I feel when words aren’t enough. For this project entitled Kalopsia I have been using self-portraiture to more actively explore my identity, memories and mental health, specifically my struggles with anxiety and depression. The images in this body of work include photos of the exterior natural world as well as self-portraits taken inside. I enjoy working with color to illustrate the highs and lows of my mental state. The lows are represented as deep blues and violets, while the highs are shown in bright pinks and yellows. ​

I also incorporate various motifs of my childhood such as references to Catholicism and family. Flowers are the most common of these motifs as they are a strong metaphor for how much I have allowed myself to bloom and overcome my mental health struggles since coming to college. The self-portraits are often taken inside my bedroom, a nod to how I first began taking self-portraits as a child. These portraits feel drastically different from the still life photographs of the natural world as they have a feeling of magic and otherworldly qualities. The goal with this is to express the multitude of colors and dimensions I contain when I allow myself to break down the barriers of anxiety and depression in my brain. These are complex struggles and taking these photographs allows me to create a world for myself without those struggles, where I can be truly free.

This project is entitled Kalopsia, a Greek word meaning “seeing with beautiful eyes” or the delusion of seeing things as more beautiful than they are in reality. I chose this title because it exactly describes my goal in taking these self portraits. The viewer is welcomed to join this world with me through these photographs, juxtaposed with photos of the natural world as a reminder that nobody can escape reality.